陈豪在北京的ABC美国公司工作。他和美国同事Amy刚刚开完会。
(Office ambience)
A：陈豪，Do you have a few minutes to talk?
C：Sure, 有什么事吗？
A：I noticed something in our meeting just now. 做为朋友，我觉得应该告诉你。It has to do with good etiquette.
C: 我有什么地方做得不对吗？西方礼节对我来说还有些陌生，你可得随时提醒我。
A: It has to do with body language, specifically eye contact.
C：肢体语言？Amy, 你能说得具体点儿吗？
A：We send nonverbal messages with our arms, our legs, our posture, our gestures and most often with our eyes.
C：你是说能从我眼睛里能看出我的想法吗？
A：没错。比方说，今天开会时，your eyes said more than your words or your facial expression. Todd 介绍提案时，我能看出你不同意他的意见。
C：奥， 你从我眼睛就能看出来？我真的是有异议。可你看出来的？我可是一字都没说呀。
A: You didn’t have to. You rolled your eyes.
C: 我翻眼睛了吗？我怎么一点儿都没觉得。
A：你是下意识的。You were not aware, but several people at the meeting noticed.
C：那就是说虽然我嘴上没表示反对，其它人还是能够看出来。Was there anything else that I did with my eyes?
A：Unfortunately, yes. You looked away several times while Todd was speaking.
C：这有什么不好吗？他说的我都听过好几遍了。
A：没错。By not looking at Todd, you gave the impression that you had heard it all before and were not the least bit interested in hearing more.
C：这我可没想到。我一直在努力管住自己的嘴巴，不要乱讲话。
A：Well, your eyes did that for you.
C： Amy, 你还从我的眼神儿里看出什么了？
A：When you lost complete interest in what Todd was saying, you just stared at him blankly. It was that old “deer in the headlights” look.
C：“车前灯里的鹿”是什么意思啊？
A：For the deer facing the headlights of an oncoming car, its expression is one of looking, but not seeing.
C：你是说我的眼睛虽然看着Todd，但是别人能看出来，我其实并没有听进去？
A：That’s right. The courteous professional is as conscious of his body language as he is his spoken language.
C: Amy, 你能不能再提醒我一下，以后要怎么做，省得我的眼睛把我的想法都泄漏出去了。
A：记住，眼睛是心灵的窗口。Learning to control the message that your eyes send is the key to courteous communication.