陈豪在北京的ABC美国公司工作。他跟美国同事Amy一起走出会议室。
(Office ambience)
C：Amy, 今天我第一次主持会议。你觉得怎么样？
A：I thought you did well considering that you have not been in that position before.
C：可我自己觉得挺糟糕的。虽然来开会的人并没说什么，但是我能感觉到，有好几个人并不欣赏我的报告，或者是根本不感兴趣。
A：What made you think that? Anyone in particular?
C：比如说吧，会开到一半的时候，Ken把笔记本一合，双手抱臂，往椅子上一仰。
A：How did you feel when he did that?
C：我立刻很紧张，觉得他认为我的发言很糟糕。
A：I noticed that, too. In fact it was pretty obvious to everyone.
C：你觉得他是故意这样做的吗？
A：Knowing Ken, I would say yes and I would add that he wanted to make sure you got the message.
C：如果他对我有什么意见，我宁可他告诉我。
A：What he did was use his body to send his message. It’s a discourteous tactic that many people use in business to express their feelings without putting them in words.
C：你是说在商业界很多人都会用这种方式表达自己的看法，而不是直接把意见说出来，那又是为什么呢？
A：Sometimes people feel safer using body language to intimidate or humiliate others.
C：他们为什么会觉得用肢体语言去羞辱别人更安全呢？
A：I am sorry, Chen Hao. Can we continue this later? I need to meet my boss in five minutes.
C：那你先忙。我们一会儿见。
******
当天下午陈豪和Amy一起喝咖啡。
C：Amy, 你上午说有人更愿意用肢体语言表达自己的看法。这是为什么呢？
A：People can always refute or deny the meaning of their body language.
C：噢，如果有人事后指责他们表现消极，他们可以矢口否认，说这是误会。那所有人都是有意这样做的吗？
A：A lot of people aren’t even aware of their body language. I think that it is often unintentional.
C：很多人都是无意的？你能举个例子吗？
A：Like Sue. Did you notice that she came to our meeting for the first time today?
C：我注意到了，Sue是第一次来参加会议，但是她坐在后面的角落里，从头到尾一言不发。
A：I think she felt left out.
C：你为什么说Sue觉得自己被忽视了呢？
A：Because the two people closest to her kept moving their chairs with their backs turned more and more to her. I don’t think it was intentional – they were just trying to see and hear better.
C：Sue 一定是误会了，觉得别人不欢迎她。
A：That’s right. So she withdrew as well.